Congitationes Meæ in Morte

What is death, really? Is it a mere loss of someone or something near and dear to you? Or is it an unexplainable force that no one could ever fathom? For me, it is none. I believe we are not in idiocy to not know what death is. Yes, the strong emotions of grief, remorse, hatred and guilt are there, but how deep can someone explain what death is?

Death is an inevitable phenomenon that even the most powerful people in the world cannot control. No one can ever tell on who dies first or last, or the exact moment. Many people die of various reasons; lives are taken helplessly and hopelessly when all the people who love and surround you with their care and comfort want nothing more but your survival.  Sometimes even the healthiest people, the ones you least expect to leave this world early, are the ones visited by death and taken away forever. Selfish, at some point, when your body needs the necessary rest it requires (in death's case, an eternal one), yet people still want you alive and prolong your agony for their own benefit (to say the very least). Humorous  how the people who want to continue living exit the world first, whilst the ones who want it to end continue their existence. This is one thing I might never understand until I breathe my last. What would be the excuses of the many? Reasons to live? Some mission they have to deliver for the betterment of the world? The fanatics of such might need to reassess their arguments, because some people leave the world with their so-called "reasons and missions" are left unfinished. Time is not a factor, though. Timing is. There is a difference between dying when people expect you to be dead and people finding out your death and instead of grieving are quite frustrated about it.

Death is an eternal dreamless sleep that shivers in silence, only awakened by the sounds of wary souls. Once your body and soul separate, it can no longer be reunited. The stories in books about its idealistic reunion will always remain a fairy tale for children and adults alike. Reincarnation is also questionable, because humans, animals and plants, though living organisms, have different spiritual abilities. Figuratively rhetoric, I wonder how death will feel like. Will it be slow and painful or at ease? If it is food, how would the taste be? Would it taste like bread and marmalade or a pungent tuna cocktail? Would the scent be that of a garden of flowers or likened to a graveyard of bones? Would we see a light filled with plains, hills, fields and the rest of paradise, or drown in darkness filled with horror, abhorrence, disgust, fright and confusion? I could go on asking these rhetorical questions, but I would never have the answers gripped if I have not yet reached the point of my last breath.

Ah yes... Death. A mystery that everyone wants to decipher and decode yet no one wants to experience. An event that can either bring everlasting joy to one person and unending solace to another. One day, when the timing is right, I shall learn them myself.

WEIRD ME

I. AM. A. WEIRDO. 

Yeahp. That's me. Well, I am proud to admit that I am weird (rather than get offended by it). I mean c'mon, who doesn't have a little weirdness in them? (Boring people! Hahaha! I kid.) Anyways, well, being weird is not really a bad thing. For me, I see weirdness as an art because not everyone can pull of the right amount of weirdness in them (others who try being weird but just can't pull it off are either outcasts or are being sent to mental institutions). Did that sound judgmental? Sorry.

Anyway, why am I posting this all of a sudden? It's simply because I'd like to share my weird side with everyone, and would also like to inform the haters (I have) that you calling me weird I take as a truthful compliment than a horrible insult that degrades me. Hahaha! I'm actually really proud to be weird or different simply because I'm confident in being myself. I'm not an overly rich person. I'm not a child prodigy. I'm not all that intelligent. I'm really just an average weirdo walking down the streets of the city wondering why I'm not affected when I get called 'weird'. Some people take that offensively. I see it otherwise. You know, being weird actually means good. It means you don't conform to society and just live your own life. It means that you have your own sense of styling yourself and standing up for yourself. And that's one of the most bravest things anyone can do. In a sea of people trying to go with the flow, I chose to stand against the current. Why? Because if I don't, well... I won't be who I am. I won't be who I'm suppose to be. So I chose to be this way. I won't allow anyone to change me anymore, even if it's for the better. Accept me as I am, or leave me alone. I'm, good, really. God loves me and I love Him too, and we're good. No need to impress other people now.

Still find me weird? It's fine. I'm weird and I'm proud. :)

- ArghkneeDarkberry

Artsy Fartsy! :D

This is probably one of my most awesome masterpieces ever... THE BLENDOKU SHAPES :)

I did that for 3 days during the Papal Visit to the Philippines, and I don't even know why. I guess I got quite bored then, and it was break time (we had a break from school for a few days), so I decided to use that time to create this. I honestly had limited coloring materials then (only a few colored pens and colored pencils). But now, I have a lot. I've saved up money (and sometimes asked Dad) so I can buy those coloring materials. I drew shapes first with a marker, then colored the edges of the shapes until I was able to fill them up.

So what now would be a befitting description/interpretation for this work of art? Well...

"The colors represent every person, their personalities and moods. They're all different. We are all different. But those differences illuminate us, make us shine, help us. And when we come in together, we're like a beautiful rainbow... An exciting mix of colors pleasing to the Eyes of the One True Maestro."

I'm planning to make another one, so... You'll just have to wait. I'll do it by the summer. Hahahaha! :)

- ArghkneeDarkberry :)

GIF Craze!

Some GIFs me and my friends made using an app called GIF Me! I know I made this post Tumblr-ish, but hey... I did say I'm a bit weird and stuff. Hahaha! :P Hope you enjoy them! ;)

Special thanks to Eunice, Harlace, Ate Vina, Aaron, and my super awesome bestfriend Ria <3 br="" nbsp="">

"But For Me, MAROON & WHITE..." (How PWU Saved My [College] Life)

"Konting push nalang, gagradweyt na ako!" 

One of the many common posts I see today in my Facebook News Feed is this line. Ahh yes... Who doesn't want to feel that graduating vibe? The grad pictorials, the toga rentals, the venue, the grad gifts the pester market demands from their parents... All of them lead to one unforgettable event in everyone's lives: GRADUATION. PAGTATAPOS. Shocking isn't it? Nostalgic, even. You remember the first time you ever experienced school? And now, all of a sudden, you're in your last level, the TERTIARY level, just before you enter the "real" world. I remember before this trimester started (which will be my last trimester), I was walking down the lobby and told myself "Ang bilis ng panahon. Kapapasok ko lang dito ah? Ngayon magtatapos na ako." I also remember how grateful I am PWU saved me from a rather uninteresting and dull college life. Here are some of those times when it really did save me from feeling bored and bemused:

1) PWU WAS THE PLACE WHERE I FOUND MY SWEET ESCAPE FROM THE SORT OF DULL LIFE I EXPERIENCED IN MY PREVIOUS SCHOOL.

* OK, lemme clear things out first: I KINDA DID ENJOY MY PREVIOUS SCHOOL SOMEHOW. But it was honestly dull and stuff. Or maybe I'm biased because I haven't experienced much there. But to be honest, I was able to visualize that early how my life would be in my previous school: it would be less exciting, and I wouldn't feel the warmth of the school. I'd be an outcast, and just go through it. Here in PWU, I've breathed the freshest of airs when it comes to college life. It was fun, exciting, and the energy of the students during activities never runs out. Truly a "sweet escape" for me.

2) PWU MADE ME REALIZE THE REAL IMPORTANCE OF MY DREAMS.

* Ever since 3rd year high school, I've dreamed of becoming a journalist, not because I wanted to be seen talking on TV or something, but the feeling of being in media gives me this euphoric, proud feeling that you would always be in the know and less ignorant of things. Upon entering the school, I was given the widest of views when it comes to the field I've chosen to enter in. It made me realize that my dreams would be much, much better if I focused on it and gave my best. I was given a lot of opportunities to show my potentials, and I must say, I am now prepared to make them all come true.

3) PWU IS THE MOST EXCITING PLACE TO MEET AND MAKE FRIENDS.

Yeahp. I'm going to be proud in saying this, but PWU is the best place to balance school and social life. In here, you feel like you belong. I made friends easily here, and the loyalty of each other does not crumble in any way. I always get giddy when going to school, because this is where my friends are. (In fact, this is where I found my two awesome besties!) Truly, if you feel down and have no friends, hop on here! We'll all be your friends!

Well there you have it. They might be few, but still, they're the reasons why I will always have PWU in my heart. This is the place where I found myself, where I was able to realize and learn a lot of things about life, and where I was opened up to limitless possibilities for my future. *sigh* Only a month to go and I'll be leaving my dear Alma Mater. But my promise would always, always be fulfilled: all colors will be brighter than any, BUT FOR ME, MAROON AND WHITE.

I'm Having A Hard Time Being Single

I guess I need not explain as to why my post is titled that way. Five months have passed and I am still single, and I am honestly having a hard time being one. I guess it is because I got used to being 'in a relationship' that is why I am like this. For other people, it is practically very easy to live life even if they are alone and not having a lover. Well for me, it is really hard. I badly want to be in a relationship again, with high hopes that my boyfriend would be my husband and partner for life when time comes. But right now, I am having a hard time looking for a guy to take up that role in my life.

I will not lie if I say that I am quite envious of the ones now currently involved in a romantic relationship. Even, I guess, the ones that became couples too quickly, even time did not notice it (though I know the consequence of losing the relationship early due to a weak foundation earlier in the relationship). I frequently question myself: "Why is it that no man would want to become mine?" Why? I am capable of loving! And yet fate, destiny, or a certain living Deity has deprived me of the one thing I ask for right now. Is it because I am not that beautiful? Not that thin? Is it because I do not fix myself much, or put make-up on my face? Is it because the only things I know how to do are reading, writing and make arts and crafts? Is it because I am weird and I do not go with the flow of what is 'in' right now? Is it because of the many questions I ask? Or... Is it because I will never really be in another relationship again?

I am quite pissed off and angry, but I do not know who I'd blame for these feelings. Even I, the one feeling all these negativity, do not know who these are for. It is very easy to point a finger, but it is hard to give reason as to why I would put the blame on whoever I would. Sadness, anger, hatred and fear are the feelings I carry in my heart right now.

Sometimes, I would just think of flirting with different boys, let my confidence reach its limit, be a bad person, or get myself drunk. All these I am willing to do just to forget thinking about the hardship of not having a boyfriend. Sometimes, the hardest decision is made: on whether or not I would still continue living. You know? So that I would need not to think about all the pain I am experiencing right now. I only wish for one thing: to be with a guy who would help me change these negative feelings or remove them, or if not, simply change my outlook in life and in love. My heart is not numb. At least not now. But I am feeling the end of the softness of my heart, as it is ready to be completely numb and hard as a rock. I fear the day that a man would come up to me to soften it, but he could not anymore.

Others say, 'Time is all you need,' 'Just wait. He's just around the corner, waiting for the right time to introduce himself to me.' But I guess when the day comes that I meet the one for me, I would not have to guts to play the game of love. My heart would be numb in totality, and would only hurt him if he offers his heart to me. We are both pitiful, but I would pity myself more. When I have no intention of gambling my heart again, there he would try to crush my unbreakable heart.

I am having a hard time being single, but I guess this sadness and smarting pain would all be temporary. I guess I would just have to wait for the day that my heart is numb and would not feel the pain and sadness of love. I would be free at last. Even if the guy was sent for by the president of the Philippines or the angels of the Almighty Father, I guess I would not love him, unlike the love, care and comfort I am willing to offer now. :(

(NOTE: I originally wrote this in Filipino, but since I'm more comfortable with English and my blogs are mostly in the aforementioned language, I just translated it.)

Keep Your Head Up!

Happy Birthday to me! :))

OK so... Out with being 18, in with being 19 ^_^ No difference though. I just aged a bit :P My family + boyfriend and I went out yesterday somewhere for a pre-celebratory lunch ;) Bad idea eating at the resto, though. Now my boyfriend (who seems to just love teasing me most of the time, but in a loving manner) has something new to tease me with :))

Well, since today is my birthday, what should I say? How should I act? I dunno, really. I actually don't feel the enthusiasm today. It's kind of like a normal it's-my-birthday-today feel. No giggly stuff and whatever. Yep. I'm kind of at loss for words as to how I'd react today :))

Anyways, I blogged this because I'm bored and I feel the need to update my blog ;) Hihihi :3

'Til the next blog! ^_^

My Philosophy in Life :)

"Appreciate and you will somehow be appreciated back." 

This is the philosophy I follow in life. In the midst of misfortunes, accidents, unessential things and series of unwanted events occurring in the present time, still, I find reasons to appreciate things that truly matter. The beauty of nature, the silence of the heart, and the fulfillment of contentment in life, and everything in between; they are all worthy of appreciation. 

People see things less now, especially when they think the value of that one particular thing is low. People appreciate the more extravagant things rather than the simple ones. They accede to the ones that gain more attention; ones that should not be given even a single ounce of it. How many times have we seen a pretty rose much more than a stunning tulip? When did we last appreciate the blue, untainted skies rather than the shapely clouds? To whom did we choose to feel indebted towards: the truthful enemy or the fake friend? See, we show appreciation to the things that are of lesser importance to us, or rather, those need not to be appreciated. It may get kind of boring to keep appreciating the old ones. Try seeing outside of the box and learn to be thankful for the other things outside of your "appreciation comfort zone". 

And what gift is reciprocated with my appreciation? Their appreciations. People who are thankful for things are also constant recipients of a million thanks back for whatever they have done to someone or for something. It's like that mantra for the Code of Hammurabi and the one Jesus taught us: "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Whatever you do to others will be done to you." Maybe not all will appreciate you, but hey, some will still.

Continue realizing everyone and everything's worth in this world, and surely, they will also appreciate your worth here. 

'Til the next blog! :D

Hmmmm... I Just Wonder...

OK so... There are some questions my World Literature professor posted after our discussion on Egyptian literature:

1. Are all human achievements futile after death? 
2. Who discovers one's purpose to live?

Well, here's a short thing of what I have to say about such:

1. Humans achieved so much so well in their journeys through life. But then again, after death, it all does become futile. Why so? Simply because a new life means a new beginning. Some people, if not all, believe that there is eternal life after one's earthly death. And because of such it is the reason that all things must be back to Square 1 and begin everything from the start. Only difference is, this start has no end, and it will continuously go on. 

2. As for the discovery of one's purpose in life, it is simply self-discovery. We go through this journey called life to find our purpose of existence. "Who are we?" "Why do we live?" "Exist?" It is for us to find out. No one can find out all these but ourselves. As we continue to walk our own "yellow brick roads" to the fulfillment of these things,  we will be in a never-ending cycle on search for our purpose in living in this place we call Earth. 

'Til the next blog, peeps! :))

The Life of a Writer (Well, Sort Of)

A paper. A pen. A very colorful and playful imagination. Well, a writer like me would not treat those as simply-owned things. To me, these are the ingredients to create a very good writer. I have to admit that I love writing, and it's as if it's already carved on my veins. It is my ultimate source of happiness, contentment, inspiration and appreciation for the gift of talents. (Hey, not everyone is gifted with the gift of written expression). I am blessed to be one of those who are blessed to have such talent. I used the write poems, sonnets, and even short stories. And until now, I still write on my journal. Every sheet of paper is like gold to me; every pen a mighty sword; every imagination kept in a treasure chest deep in my mind. One question: how did I come across discovering this dear talent of mine? Well, let me share you a piece of my life as a sort-of writer...

When I was in the 4th grade of my elementary years, my imagination got very vivid until I could not hold it on my mind anymore that I needed to just pour it out, express it, and just place it somewhere. Finding a pen and paper near me, I just started writing all of them. Added a few details here and there, edited them, and voila! I made my first story, "The Father and His Daughter" (R.I.P to it. I could not find it anymore) :(( And so it began; my appreciation for my gift. I started writing poems which were dedicated to my dear father. Then, as years went by, Shakespeare inspired me to try making some sonnets (the first being entitled The Sonnet of A Sweet Dream).

I am very jubilant about such, and I am blessed to have a deep appreciation for it. Up until now, I write the things that I see and experience, and even what my heart feels for the people I love the most.

(Phew! Ain't that cute? Oh well, 'til the next blog!) :)))

A Few Posts That Have Figurative Language In Them (a.k.a Figurative Language)

So recently, we made stuff about the different figures of speech. Well, I gave it a go. Just tried to actually post an actual blog that has an actual figure of speech included in the actual stuff. :)))

(I abused the use of the word "Actual". I love myself for it.) :))

1. My friends just kept talking and talking, that they filled the entire mezzanine (even the entire Paseo!) with jumbled words and misunderstood noises. Know what I did? I just sat there in one corner, looking like a living statue. I just, well, stared at them like how a predator would stare at his prey, or how a strict person would stare at someone sternly. They all just stared at me back. No, I still didn't utter a word. Kept it shut like a hibernated squirrel. 

2. As I have observed tonight, the glittery stars bowed down to the Lord of Evil Velvet Sky and were overshadowed by his Raven Knights. Poor stars. NO WAIT. Poor, deceived human beings. Not a lamp to shine on their inner eyes to free them from the blindness they've been stuck in for almost an eternity. 

And lastly, a special (figurative letter message for my dear boyfriend, Henrick) :">

3. Oh dear Henrick, I can't help but love you more and more everyday. Your voice soothes me like a cup of hot jasmine tea, makes me feel warm like a hand-crocheted sweater, and you care for me as though it's a true friend's care. One thing bothers me though... You are so tall, I can reach out the books in the library for you. :))

So there you have it folks. 'Til the next blog! :))

Back to Blogging

Hello hello :) I'm back to blogging after 12345 millenniums. :))

Anyways, there are a few reasons why I got back into blogging again:

1. I REALLY MISSED BLOGGING;
2. This is required for my World Literature subject;
3. I have loads of new things to share with everyone;
4. I just wanna see how my blogging skills are again after a super long time of not blogging;
5. I really just wanna blog stuff again.

Oh well peeps, it begins now. Hahahahaha. Hope you guys and gals read it again :D

formspring.me

Whatcha wanna know 'bout me? :] http://www.formspring.me/argindarkberry

How awesome do you think you are? :]

How awesome do you think you are? :]

Answer here

Christmas is in the Air! :]

Yeah...Christmas in the air. It's December already, and, well, I'm not having a cold one yah know...So what will I do for this season? :]

1. PRAY = I really have to pray for Christmas miracles to happen (or at least, late Christmas miracles to occur in the near future);

2. GIVE = I'm giving gifts to my friends. Of course, the gift needs to befit the receiver, otherwise, they'll find it vain.

3. SHARE = Christmas is about sharing, so I'll take myself off the selfish ways and into the Golden Hearts Club (yeah, people who are generous have golden hearts. Just not painted, though)

4. SING & DANCE = Hit the dancefloor and party! Gahahahahaha!!! One of my favorites during the Yuletide season is to rock it all out like there's no tomorrow! (Although I also do it thrice more when New Year comes)

5. SMILE = No Christmas would be complete without a little show from the pearly whites :D

So there you have it...How to spend my lovely Christmas! :]

Joyeux Noel! :]

How much chuck would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? :P

How much chuck would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? :P

Answer here

Say NO to NO :)

OK, so I got this from a certain company magazine, and it was so cool! It's kind of like an optimistic poem, so, I'd like to share it with everyone!

Isn't it high time someone got negative about negativity?

Yes, it is.

Look around. The world is full of things that, according

to nay-sayers, should never have happened.

"Impossible."

"Impractical."

"No."

And yet, "yes."

Yes, continents have been found.

Yes, many men have played golf on the moon.

Yes, straw is being turned into biofuel to power cars.

Yes, yes, yes.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO TURN NO INTO YES?

Curiosity. An open mind. A willingness to take risks.

And, when the problem seems most insoluble, when the

challenge is hardest, when everyone else is shaking

their heads, to say: let's go.

So there you go. An optimist poem for everyone. Thanks!

Empty Frames...

Empty Frames is a song by well-known RnB singer Ne-Yo. I listen to it whenever I remember that special someone I used to be with when I was a sophomore. Most of my schoolmates know who that person is... :'(

I cried so much when that person hurt my feelings one night. Broke my heart in a million pieces. But I've moved on now...I learned my lesson...Now that person wants me back, but I'm sorry...I couldn't anymore...IT'S OVER...

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...

So I'm going to make this blog post really short. What did I do today?

* The usual Flag Ceremony

* Quizzes in A.P. & English IV

* discussions in Advanced Algebra, CLVE & Physics

* story writing in Music IV w/ the help of Vivaldi's music masterpieces

* dealing w/ my new dental fillings

* doing tons of other stuff that's school-related :)

So that's pretty much what I did this day. And it's so nice that time moves fast when it's Tuesday. It's the fastest day in the whole week (for me).

OK! That's pretty much it :)

BLUEBERRY ADDICT!

You could very much say that I'm a girl with a passion and total addiction to BLUEBERRIES.

I really couldn't remember the first time I tasted the sweet fruit, nor could I remember the first time I ever noticed its existence. What I can remember is the happiness it brings whenever I eat them. It can either be a flavor of a cookie/biscuit or a topping on a pancake/waffle. I really love blueberries (and who wouldn't?). I love dried, fresh or canned blueberries, blueberry-flavored cookies and biscuits, cheesecakes, pancakes, waffles & even ice cream! What I would like to taste is blueberry juice and blueberry rice. I sure hope Starbucks makes a bunch of blueberry frappucino; I'd be so happy!

I have an obsession with the blueberry. Deal with it.